Most of you know by now that my grandmother moved in with me and my family a while back so that I could be the care-giver while terminal cancer slowly but surely .. well .. terminated her life, albeit in a more personal setting than off in a nursing home or hospital somewhere. We all knew that she was dying, or we thought we did until .. it suddenly became more immediate as of late.

The long and the short of it is, she is dying, and she is dying much more rapidly than we would have thought or hoped. I am uncertain that she will make Christmas at the rate that she is deteriorating currently.

That, and the fact that I never was able to take enough time off to reconvalesce from the swine flu that tackled me after taking down my older son, have left me highly stressed and worn down, so bad so that migraine-like (and really crippling, believe me) headaches from all the tension, stress and bad state of recovery are all but taking me out on a daily basis. I have to function through them, as hard as it may be, for there is just no slowing down with 2 kids, school, X-mas preps, taking care of a highly ailing elderly person, etc. etc. - but what I currently am unable to do (and getting increasingly more frustrated over), is write. My brain capacity just .. isn't there. The muses are hopping mad and I'm all but bursting with stuff that needs written and needs OUT, damn it, but it's not happening.

All those of you who are stuck in friggin' limbo on the Logan mission .. dear gawd, I can't apologize enough and believe you me, I feel like crying just thinking of you. I will put down my best effort to get us all back 'home' throughout this current RO. Forgive me.

And then there is Emily, Nicole and Bonnie, all of whom are waiting for my Scott input .. and are being left hanging near as much as the Logan group. To you too, I must apologize. You have not been forgotten, and aren't being ignored. Life just sucks sometimes.

That brings me to the summation here - life sucks sometimes. And right now, I'm too tired to roll with the punches so it's getting me in the teeth with every punch it throws :P

/rant=explanation=whiny-ass sob story :P

::Hugs::

Life does suck sometimes, big time. But just take it one day at a time and do what you can. Trust me, I speak from experience.

I'm here for you if you need me hun <3.

And I'm very sorry about your Grandmother, it can't be easy for anyone. But you're in my thoughts and my prayers. Stay strong hun <3.

*big hug*

If you need to vent I'm here.